GR A mystery?
GR Hmm.
GR Keep that secret close, then.
GR And keep your special someone closer. =)
She takes another sip of her tea and waves over a waiter to get you a beverage, too. She insists on paying for it - a treat for keeping her company. So, as you wait for your drink, you ask her something that has been weighing on you for a while.
Y/N Is there someone like that in your life, Grace?
Her face stills. But as smoothly as the silk she is wearing, she smiles and nods.
GR Yes.
GR It has not been long.
GR But it can feel like a lifetime. Would you not say?
Y/N Of course.
GR And you are itching to ask about them.
Y/N No. I wouldn't -
GR You are no better than those lousy reporters, ha ha.
There is a hint of warning in their voice. Nevertheless, they shake their head and soften their expression.
GR It is alright. We can talk about it.
Y/N ...
GR I am serious. We can.
GR You think I am a selfish person. No, I am giving.
GR And I do not have many chances to do this. I should savor it.
Y/N Why is that?
GR Oh, why?
GR Why do you think I talk so little about my someone?
GR Do you have a guess?
Y/N So it doesn't get brought up in the tabloids?
GR That is a good guess.
GR Oh, how I feel for us. The fame is unforgiving.
GR That is why so many have... what is it, tryst? With each other?
GR Only we understand what we have been through.
GR No, that is not the answer.
GR People have approached me. People who are not unkind.
GR They are not her.
Y/N A friend from back home?
Y/N Or, wait, another Program competitor?
She is holding her cup as she laughs, so it shakes with her.
GR It is so funny how invisible we were to the world.
GR I thought we had hid it rather poorly.
GR Ah, well.
GR It is no one you should concern yourself with meeting right now.
GR Because she is gone.
Your blood runs cold. They take your silence as an invitation to continue.
GR You know the details. Everyone does.
GR It surrounded me for months. It still lingers like a ghost.
GR Of course, now that I am their... what is the word? Golden bull?
GR Golden cow. That is what I am to them.
GR I am everything. She was discarded.
GR So, they permit me little when it comes to her. Not even her name.
Y/N You can't even talk about it with your associates? Your friends?
GR There are eyes and ears throughout.
GR And sometimes, those beside you are the quickest to make you fall.
Y/N ...
Y/N Then, why here?
Y/N Why talk about it... with me?
Her cheeks scrunch upwards with this smile.
GR I think you are someone who will not tell.
GR What was it... Y/N? That is your name?
GR Yes, you are too far from all this. There is nothing you can do.
GR So, what is the harm of talking aloud?
The waiter returns with your drink. You thank him, then take a sip with the straw. You had ordered the most appetizing-looking drink on the menu. Something you know you would like. And as expected, you find yourself refreshed.
Y/N Did the people competing with you...?
GR No, we let it be ours alone.
GR The camera is powerful, you see. A flash, and a memory preserved.
GR I wanted to take photos of her so badly.
GR But she never liked being in photos. I did not understand.
GR When you are seen by the world, it is hard to cower. For they will see.
GR I made sure to capture her in all of her happiest moments.
GR And I would delete them, as she would tell me to.
GR Our belongings were given to us, but they were not truly ours.
GR She would never forgive me if a photo was used by the staff. Aired somewhere.
GR Only once it had all ended. Once we were free.
GR Then, I could finally start my album of just her.
Y/N ...
Y/N Did it feel good?
Y/N Winning... after everything?
GR No.
GR Victory would have been a life with her.
GR If it was anything, it was every moment I got to spend with her.
GR I did not know it until it was too late.
GR I can curse many things. My ignorance is one of them.
Y/N I'm sorry.
GR I do not need your 'sorry'.
GR What do I do with your 'sorry'?
GR Keep it.
GR It is not yours to give, and it is not mine to accept.
In the first episode of Grace's season, her country Nigerian accent dominated her words. It was trained during the season and even more so afterwards. Even now, you only notice it in certain pronunciations, in certain gestures. You wonder how much she has been able to visit her family with all the Program-related events for the upcoming anniversary season.
GR Do not look so sad.
GR My story is not one of only tragedy.
GR Of course it is not. Because I will not be apart from her forever.
Y/N ...
GR Oh! I did not mean in death.
GR That would be most inconvenient.
GR Not to mention very tedious. I plan to outlive many. Ha ha.
GR No, life is what will reunite us.
GR It is what I believe more than anything.
Y/N You haven't found her yet, though.
GR Yes. I admit, I have not.
GR It has hardly been a year since. It is not enough time.
GR I have not lost hope.
Y/N She's completely off the grid, though.
Y/N Wherever she went after that season, no one's seen a trace of her.
Y/N And you know Program fans.
Y/N They're thorough. In fact, Program critics are thorough, too.
Y/N Someone would've found her, wouldn't they?
Grace leans onto the table, her chin resting on clasped hands.
GR You are just repeating all that I know already.
GR Can you make yourself useful and say something new?
You say nothing, because these words are her words. And she cannot tell herself something she does not know.
GR No. I will not accept that.
GR Tell me! Tell me what I cannot see!
GR Tell me where she is!!
She slams her fist on the table, knocking over your drink. If you like cold drinks, the ice cubes scatter over the table. If you like hot drinks, the steam dissipates as the liquid splatters. You mourn it, because it was what you had chosen. It was all you had in your name, not hers.
GR ...
GR Every day she waits for me. Every day I fail.
GR Ha. Ha ha.
GR Yet, there is an even worse agony I imagine.
GR Where she lives. She exists, in my world.
GR But I do not, in hers.
Her drink is empty at this point. The waitress - no, waiter - comes by and picks it up, as well as cleans up the mess on the table. It would not do to leave things so messy. No. It is unbecoming.
GR You can hear me.
GR Please, say something.
Y/N ...
GR No. Not you.
GR I cannot stand you. You... tool of a creator.
GR You husk. You vessel of a soul.
GR I mean the one who can truly hear me.
GR Tell me she is alive.
GR Tell me I will be with her again, and we will never be apart.
GR Tell me before this ends.
GR If you know anything, please tell me.
GR I will wait for as long as it takes.
GR ...
GR ...
GR ...
GR ...
GR ...
GR ...
GR ...
GR ...
GR ...
GR ...
GR ...
GR ...
GR ...
GR ...
GR ...
GR ..
THE END
(Ending 20/20: TBD)
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