JN   You know...

JN   Its built to be cleaned.

She's giving you a stern look, which you return with a grin.

AV   ya

AV   thas y i hav u B:)

AV   its liek goin 2 da dentist 4 a cleanup B)

JN   ...

JN   You know you still have to brush your teeth right?

JN   The dentist doesnt brush your teeth for you.

AV   okay maybe my analogy wasnt 100%

AV   buuuut

AV   its not like i havent been cleanin it

AV   every time its empty i rinse it a lil

She takes a piece of a paper towel and does a single swab on the inside. Then, she holds it up to you, now stained a concerningly dark color.

JN   Have you tried rinsing with some kind of cleaning agent?

JN   This is nasty.

JN   Even by your standards.

AV   :O

JN   This could be mold right here.

JN   Youve been drinking mold.

AV   hmmmmm

JN   That can make you really sick.

AV   hmmmmm x2

AV   welp

AV   havent died yet B)

She tosses the paper towel piece at you. You yelp and just manage to roll out of the way, almost falling off of the table.

AV   dont b mean bb girl

AV   u almost knocked me off

She rolls her eyes and redirects her focus back on the prosthetics.

JN   I mean it Avril.

JN   Theres no point doing this if youre not going to take care of them.

JN   My job is only mechanical maintenance.

JN   Youre perfectly capable doing the rest.

AV   but

AV   but jennn

AV   im disabled B:'(

She grabs a wrench from a table next to her, and you suddenly feel true fear.

AV   uh B:O

JN   Hey friend.

JN   You mind repeating that?

AV   i get it i get it!

AV   i was joking i was doin jokes lol

AV   ill clean it better okie?

AV   pls have mercy

She smiles. The wrench is released from her grip.

JN   Good.

JN   I knew you had it in you.

AV   B:')

JN   Now lets go over the physical check-up.

AV   ooh la la

AV   dont strip me 2 quickly now

AV   i mite do anythin u tell me B)

JN   Were just talking.

JN   Sit up. Clothes on.

You do your best to sit up using your upper body strength, since your prosthetics aren't attached. Meanwhile, she grabs her clipboard, eyes flitting down the list.

JN   Its clearly fulfilled its usage as a container.

JN   As seen by the aforementioned mold.

AV   glug glug

JN   But how is it as a limb?

JN   You know. Its primary purpose.

JN   Any pain anywhere? Any soreness?

AV   nothin dat stickz out

AV   i mean it always hurtz a lil but dat happens w/o this guy 2

JN   That doesnt mean we cant work on your comfort.

AV   awwwww thanx B)

JN   Dont reach for me! Im taking notes!

JN   Anyway...

JN   Is there a specific area of your thigh that hurts?

You feel your bottom half a little. The top triggers no particular sensation, but you do feel a bruise-like sensitivity near the bottom. Where the rest of the leg would be. Jenny watches your hands, then your expression.

JN   Maybe we can work on weight distribution.

JN   That way you wont be putting so much pressure on the bottom area.

AV   but im always gonna b sittin on da new legz

AV   cant change how theyre below me

JN   That doesnt mean we cant change the way theyre interacting with you.

JN   Hmm.

JN   Let me sketch something...

JN   You wouldnt mind if the prosthetic had parts attached to your pelvis right?

AV   as long as it doesnt get in da way

JN   Of what? Surfing?

JN   Ideally nothng should impede your usual -

AV   bonerz B)

JN   ...

AV   B)

JN   Receiving or...?

AV   lol BD

AV   WAIT

AV   does dat mean dick attachment isnt off da table? B:O

JN   Yes! It is!!

AV   this is so misleading

JN   I just never know if... youre always...

JN   Gods nevermind. Forget I asked.

JN   I knew you would bring up those kinds of appendages sooner or later.

AV   B(

JN   Avril.

AV   sniffle

AV   da worlds best inventor turns a blind eye 2 body affirmin care... B'(

You shake your head despondently as Jenny flushes with rage.

JN   You know thats not it so dont pretend it is!!

AV   i jus think

AV   n i agree w/ stef when it comes 2 dis

AV   theres lotsa other anatomy u could b upgradin here

JN   On an ethical level bringing up your sick cousin discounts your argument completely.

JN   Also - and I cant believe I have to spell it out -

JN   This and limbs are so conceptually different I wouldnt know where to start!

AV   big bonez B)

JN   And even if I wanted to invent the best genitalia in the world Id need lots of training!

JN   Its actually really magnanimous of me to hold myself back.

JN   And not yknow.

JN   Mutilate your sex organs without meaning to.

JN   Im a goddamn hero!

JN   Youd be nothing without me!!

Somewhere in the middle of her rant, she started waving around the ball-peen hammer. You resist the urge to joke about it, since you can be magnanimous sometimes, too.

When she calms down, she gives you some of the notes she wrote down. Always a good thought, since you tend to forget what you've discussed.

JN   Ill send you some drafts.

JN   Then youll have to come back for the testing phase.

JN   And...

JN   They better be clean as a whistle next time I see them.

AV   aye aye captn

And so, another successful appointment concludes. As she carefully reattaches your prosthetics, you try giving her smooches of gratitude. Luckily, some of them land.