JN   You know Avril...

JN   Its built to be cleaned.

She's giving you a stern look, which you return with a grin.

AV   ya

AV   thas y i hav u B:)

JN   Thats what you need me for?

AV   its liek goin 2 da dentist 4 a cleanup B)

JN   ...

JN   You still have to brush your teeth.

JN   The dentist doesnt brush your teeth for you.

AV   okay maybe my analogy wasnt 100%

AV   but its not like i havent been cleanin it

AV   every time its empty i rinse it a lil

She takes a piece of a paper towel and swabs the inside.

JN   Have you tried rinsing with some kind of cleaning agent?

She takes it out. The paper towel is now stained a concerningly dark color.

AV   yuck :O

JN   Yuck is right. This is nasty.

JN   Even by your standards.

AV   whas dat mean

JN   Whose fault is it for letting this happen?

AV   i was jus gettin my drink on

AV   so mayb a lil dirt got in

JN   This could be mold right here.

JN   Youve been drinking mold.

AV   hmm

JN   That can make you really sick.

AV   hmm x2

AV   well yanno

JN   What?

AV   havent died yet B)

She tosses the paper towel piece at you. You yelp and just manage to roll out of the way, almost falling off of the table.

AV   dont b mean bb girl

AV   u almost knocked me off

She rolls her eyes and redirects her focus back on the prosthetics.

JN   I mean it Avril.

JN   Theres no point doing this if youre not going to take care of them.

JN   My job is only mechanical maintenance.

JN   Youre perfectly capable doing the rest.

AV   but

AV   but jennn

JN   What.

AV   im disabled B:'(

She grabs a wrench from a table next to her.

AV   ok nvm! B:O

JN   Are you sure?

AV   yeah lol i was jokin lol

AV   ill clean it better okie?

AV   lol

AV   have mercy pls

She smiles. The wrench is released from her grip.

JN   Good.

JN   I knew you had it in you.

AV   B:')

You take deep breaths to slow your terrified heartrate as Jenny peers over her important-looking paperwork.

JN   Now lets go over the physical check-up.

AV   wats that again

JN   Your body. Condition and all that.

AV   ooh la la

AV   dont strip me 2 quickly now

AV   i mite do anythin u tell me B)

JN   Were just talking.

JN   Sit up. Clothes on.

You do your best to sit up using your upper body strength, since your prosthetics aren't attached. Meanwhile, she grabs her clipboard, eyes flitting down the list.

JN   Its clearly fulfilled its usage as a container.

JN   As seen by the aforementioned mold.

AV   glug glug

JN   But how is it as a limb?

JN   You know. Its primary purpose.

JN   Any pain anywhere? Any soreness?

AV   nothin dat stickz out

AV   i mean it always hurtz a lil but dat happens w/o this guy 2

JN   That doesnt mean we cant work on your comfort.

AV   awwwww thanx B)

JN   Dont reach for me! Im taking notes!

JN   Anyway...

JN   Is there a specific area of your thigh that hurts?

You feel around the area where your lower body would be. The smooth skin around your pelvis triggers no particular sensation, but you do feel a bruise-like sensitivity near the bottom. Where the rest of the leg would be.

Jenny watches your hands, then your expression.

JN   Maybe we can work on weight distribution.

JN   That way you wont be putting so much pressure on the bottom area.

AV   but im always gonna b sittin on da new legz

AV   cant change how theyre below me

JN   That doesnt mean we cant change the way theyre interacting with you.

JN   Hmm.

JN   Let me sketch something...

JN   You wouldnt mind if the prosthetic had parts attached to your pelvis right?

AV   i guess not

AV   as long as it doesnt get in da way

JN   Of what? Surfing?

JN   Ideally nothng should impede your usual -

AV   bonerz B)

JN   ...

AV   B)

JN   Receiving or...?

AV   lol BD

AV   WAIT

AV   does dat mean dick attachment isnt off da table? B:O

Jenny's cheeks flush, both with embarassment and rage. You don't think she's averse to explicit subjects, but she always ends up flustered whenever they're involved in her work.

JN   Yes! It is!

JN   Its never been an option! Not ever!

AV   this is so misleading

JN   Is it?

AV   maybe

JN   Augh youre just joking around like you always do!

JN   Gods nevermind. Forget I asked.

JN   I knew you would bring up those kinds of appendages sooner or later.

JN   Its all just fun and games to you.

AV   B(

JN   Avril.

AV   sniffle

AV   da worlds best inventor turns a blind eye 2 body affirmin care... B'(

You shake your head despondently. The june bud blossoms red.

JN   You know thats not it so dont pretend it is!!

AV   i jus think

AV   n i agree w/ stef when it comes 2 dis

AV   theres lotsa other anatomy u could b upgradin here

JN   On an ethical level bringing up your sick cousin discounts your argument completely.

JN   Also - and I cant believe I have to spell it out -

JN   This and limbs are so conceptually different I wouldnt know where to start!

AV   big bonez B)

JN   Its a hell of a challenge compared to an arm or a leg!

JN   Even if I wanted to invent the best genitalia in the world Id need lots of training!

JN   Its actually really magnanimous of me to hold myself back.

JN   And not yknow...

JN   Mutilate your sex organs without meaning to.

JN   Im a goddamn hero!

JN   Youd be nothing without me!!

Somewhere in the middle of her rant, she started waving around the ball-peen hammer. You resist the urge to joke about it, since you can be magnanimous, too.

When she calms down, she gives you some of the notes she wrote down. Always a good thought, since you tend to forget what you've discussed.

JN   Ill send you some drafts.

JN   Then youll have to come back for the testing phase.

JN   And...

JN   They better be clean as a whistle next time I see them.

AV   aye aye captn

And so, another successful appointment concludes. As she carefully reattaches your prosthetics, you try giving her smooches of gratitude. Luckily, some of them land.