AD   Come in.

AD   Close the door behind you.

When you enter the room, he's where you expect him to be - at his desk, his head buried in thick stacks of books, papers, and college acceptance letters. The only sign that he's aware of your presence is the tapping of his foot on the floor. Interruptions make him impatient. Impatience makes him restless.

CE   ...

CE   Are you busy?

AD   (sigh)

Finally, he leans back and meets your eyes. He looks exhausted. Is he mad at you?

AD   What is it, Ciel?

AD   Get to the point.

You hold out the packet that was behind your back. He gives it a wary glance, then stands up just enough to move his seat to the left.

AD   Math, again?

You nod, walking over and placing the packet on his desk. You sit down on the other chair and point to the problem you've circled.

AD   Alright.

AD   This shouldn't be difficult.

AD   Do you remember the parts? Numerator, denominator?

CE   Mm hm.

AD   Then, try it in front of me.

AD   I want to see your steps.

CE   ...I don't know how.

AD   Just walk me through your thought process.

AD   Don't worry about whether it's right or not.

CE   I...

CE   Okay.

CE   Do you want me to talk out loud?

AD   Only if you need to.

You find some space to the side - where you haven't scribbled - and do your best. But when you get stuck, you feel the weight in your chest return, and you're left staring at the paper blankly. This is the hardest part. Having to re-enact your confusion in front of him. You don't know why he can't just skip to the part where he tells you what to do. Does he enjoy seeing you squirm? Doesn't he know it's hard enough to come and knock on his door?

AD   I see.

AD   I'll start from the beginning.

He takes the pencil from your hand and begins jotting things down.

AD   It's easier when this is all one fraction.

AD   Then, remember - the denominators should match when adding or subtracting.

AD   So multiply the big number by the denominator, then add it to the numerator.

CE   (sniff)

AD   If it helps, organize things visually.

AD   That way, you won't get the different parts confused.

As he explains and writes it out, you nod and follow along as best as you can. But the weight keeps getting heavier. And even when you have a question, you keep your mouth shut. He doesn't like getting interrupted.

AD   Now, you reduce.

AD   What's the greatest common factor?

CE   ...

AD   Recall what a common factor is, Ciel.

AD   Do you remember anything about it?

CE   (sniff)

AD   ...

His eyes go from the paper to you, and he stops.

AD   Are your allergies flaring up, again?

AD   I have been moving some things around.

AD   It might be dust. Or something equally bothersome.

CE   No. That's not it.

CE   (sniff)

CE   I feel bad.

AD   Are you sick?

CE   Bad in my head.

CE   And in my chest, and in my throat.

CE   All because of this.

He places the pencil down and turns his chair to face you.

AD   If you were feeling self-conscious, then you could've just told me.

AD   I went through the same thing at your age.

AD   Who do you think was the woefully neglected guinea pig before you two?

AD   (sigh)

AD   But I didn't have a wise and convenient tutor at home.

AD   So, focus on getting through this.

AD   I won't judge you.

AD   I'm here to help you.

CE   (sniff) (sniff)

Before you can help it, tears prick the corners of your eyes. You look down, so he doesn't have to see your face.

AD   Ciel.

AD   Talk to me. Please.

CE   ...

CE   It's too hard.

AD   Fractions are fairly advanced for your age.

AD   But it isn't like a test.

AD   It's just homework. You can get through.

CE   It's that. And it's everything.

CE   All the workbooks, all the... times they ask for my grades.

CE   They want me in all the high school classes already.

CE   Why? None of my friends are at this level yet.

CE   Even some of their older siblings aren't at this level yet.

CE   It makes me feel stupid.

CE   Then, I feel bad for feeling stupid.

CE   And I can't say anything.

CE   It's hard enough, talking about it with you.

His hand is on your shoulder, now. You look through your bangs, and you see him hunched over, just so he matches your height.

AD   I'm sorry.

AD   It sounds just as I remember.

AD   And I remember being utterly miserable.

CE   (sniff) You can't say that.

CE   You're smart.

CE   Everything comes to you so easily.

CE   That's what you're good at.

AD   (sigh) That doesn't mean I haven't struggled, Ciel.

AD   And it doesn't mean I haven't... felt bad, either.

AD   I understand. I really do.

CE   (sniff)

AD   You just have to get through it.

AD   Just be grateful you have someone like me, this time.

AD   Because, eventually, you'll have to do this by yourself.

AD   At least for a brief moment, time is on your side.

AD   Think of it that way.

CE   ...

You wish you could tell him how bad he makes you feel, sometimes. That disappointing him feels worse than doing so to the teachers or even your parents. But you can't muster the words. Not when he's already taking so much time out of his day, just for you.

So, you let him leave his hand on your shoulder. Maybe it's making him feel better, at least.

CE   Akhi.

CE   I'm going to miss you.

AD   ...

AD   I know.

After he graduates, he'll be gone. He's fought too many times with mom and dad, made his goals all too clear to you and Skylar. But that just means everything will be different. And no matter how bad he can make you feel, his absence will feel so much worse.

If you work hard, maybe you'll grow numb to it.