IG   Accursed turbulence.

IG   You might as well add straps to the beds, alongside the cargo.

You grin and turn towards the approaching footsteps, meeting their weary gaze. Without leering cameras and sharply-suited businesspeople, the Inigo you see is the closest to human you get. It's heartening - an honest glare is always more welcome than a dishonest smile.

CP   Now that's an idea. seatbelts in our sleeping quarters.

CP   I'll float it by the crew. they'll love it.

IG   I doubt it, considering they seem to be getting by fine¹.

IG   1. If I wasn't awoken by the waves, it would've been their incessant snores.

CP   Ah, so you admit that the issue comes down to you, and you alone?

He scoffs and steps up to the foredeck. You don't miss how he stumbles a bit and swears under his breath.

IG   If the captain continues turning a blind eye to his vessel's foibles,

IG   He will no longer expect continued patronage.

CP   No... from my favorite customer?

IG   From anyone.

IG   People hold my opinion in high regard, you know.

CP   I can believe that for a lot of things.

CP   But for sea travel? you're on your own, there.

IG   And what makes you say that?

A cruise ship, even a luxury one, would be full of prying people. A private boat with private staff would require a small fortune. One of your charter ships, which have enough flexibility to make all the sight-seeing stops he wants in-between the ports, is his best option. But getting him to admit such is a fool's errand. Any sign of gratitude he can give is obfuscated behind layers of condescending professionalism.

CP   If I recall, no one forced Your Highness to be here.

CP   And certainly, no one forced him to keep coming back?

You give him a knowing look. He meets it with scorn.

IG   You need me.

IG   Don't act as if this... merchant business is enough² on its own.

IG   2. Your finances could easily plunge into the black without me.

IG   So, watch that attitude of yours. It's maladroit to our arrangement.

Coercive threats aren't as effective when they come from someone clearly battling a bout of seasickness, you find. So, you shrug and walk back to your cabin.

IG   I wasn't done speaking.

CP   Hold your horses. i'll be right back.

And you're true to your word. You return to the deck with a satchel and a knife. He eyes your belongings warily.

IG   A late dinner, don't you think?

You open the satchel and bring out a stalk of ginger. Then, with your knife, you cut off a bite-sized slice and hold it out to him.

CP   Eat up.

IG   I'm not eating root from your filthy hands.

You roll your eyes and recall fond memories of walking to the stables, medicine in hand.

CP   Sorry I couldn't serve it to you on a silver platter, Your Excellency.

CP   But it's the best remedy I've got.

IG   You don't have medicine? Pills of any kind?

CP   C'mon. i swear it works.

CP   Old sailor's trick. helps with the nausea, settles the stomach.

CP   Here. I'll eat with you.

You cut another piece and pop it in your mouth, unable to hold back a grimace as you chew.

CP   Ugh. that's the good stuff, alright.

IG   A convincing expression.

CP   It tastes better with a drink.

IG   I'm surprised you don't have one³ with you at all times.

CP   Since I work hard and get dehydrated as a result?

IG   3. Like a cheap ale. Considered hydration to a drunkard.

You swallow, then hold the other piece toward him again. Eventually, he takes it with the tips of his fingers, as if it were radioactive. When he tastes it, his face contorts in all sorts of ways.

CP   Feel better?

IG   It feels primitive.

CP   Phah. if it worked for them, it'll work for us.

CP   Let me get you another slice.

IG   You do that, and I'm throwing that root overboard.

CP   Good idea. fish probably get seasick too, doing all that swimming.

IG   Caspian.

CP   Sir.

IG   Do you ever tire of telling these flimsy excuses for 'jokes'?

CP   Who'd get tired of charming, witty rapport?

IG   The poor victims⁴ who must hear them.

CP   Well, let me know when you find one. i'd hate to leave someone disappointed.

IG   4. I find you deeply insufferable.

As you get through a few more slices, you look out at the glimmering waves. In the course of your conversation, the ocean has settled alongside your stomaches. You look up at the sky to see that the clouds have scattered, too.

CP   The stars are always more beautiful after a storm.

IG   Hm.

CP   There's Big Dipper. Polaris, obviously.

CP   That reminds me - what's your sign, again?

IG   Don't tempt the nausea into returning.

CP   Not a pick-up.

CP   Genuine question, I swear.

CP   I know you're somewhere in the spring... Aquarius, maybe?

IG   I don't pay heed to superstition⁵.

CP   Yet, you have an eye for fortune. explain that.

IG   Only in ways that are material and therefore governable.

IG   The day of one's birth determining anything but the timeline of conception?

IG   5. Nonsense spun out of assumption.

CP   Wow. don't you know a little irrationality is the spice of life?

CP   You can't gauge everything. sometimes, you throw it to the whims of fate.

IG   You can't be suggesting that probability isn't a calculable methodology.

CP   I'm just saying - you can't be certain of everything.

CP   Trying to will only make you miserable.

It's why going head-to-head with him is so entertaining. He leaves people penniless after a few rounds of cards, because he's already assessed everything they are, everything they're capable of, and everything they're willing to risk. You've had to warn your crewmates about him. And console the unfortunate few.

That's why you challenge him in the gray area. Where he lacks absolute certainty and control. Rile him up or add enough money to the pot, and he's easier to lure than than a speckled trout. Win or lose, you never come out of it admitting absolute defeat. It's enough to wonder if that alone is why he still engages with you. Like you're a loose variable he hasn't dealt with, yet.

IG   Pisces⁶.

You blink and glance over. Seems like he managed to fix his hair during your little mental trip.

CP   Huh. what day?

IG   6. The 24th of February.

CP   Hey, we're pretty close! it's the 27th for me.

IG   I don't recall asking.

CP   How come you've never given me a birthday present?

IG   Considering our affiliations, it'd easily be considered a bribe.

CP   Phah. exchanging things under-the-table is your specialty.

Before he can rebut, something crests the water's surface in the distance. You both go over to the railing, argument shelved for later.

CP   A whale, you think?

IG   No. Too thin.

CP   What about a Specter? there have been a few floating around.

CP   It's harder to see them in the water, obviously, but the way they swim is really -

IG   Be silent. It's coming.

The creature finally makes itself known to the surface. You breath a sigh of relief as it looks around and sinks back downwards.

CP   Whew. hope it noticed us.

CP   I mean, Crusoe and I could easily take care of it. it's just a hassle, y'know?

IG   A giant squid⁷? I would imagine so.

CP   Why do you say that like you're on the squid's side?

IG   Fufu. Why wouldn't I be?

IG   7. It's a formidable foe, even faced against corporeal Specter.

He looks fully recovered and in good spirits, now. You can't be sure if it's the ginger or the sight of an abyssal cephalopod. You'd bet money on the latter.

So, during the next tumultuous voyage, you hope your vessel gets attacked by an equally charming sea monster. Dealing with that might tame the one next to you.