GF   Merde!

GF   What are you doing, you pomme freak?

Said freak suddenly scampers off of the trail and into the foliage. This alone isn't cause for alarm, as he has a propensity for crawling up trees whenever he sees fit. But you were in the middle of an argument. You're not leaving it as is.

GF   Damn it...

Your eyes dart around before cautiously following, making sure to take high steps over everything scattered on the forest floor. You're not getting your jacket any dirtier.

GF   What has gotten into you? Running off like a deer...

GF   Ah, I got it.

GF   Rather than admitting that my point was superior,

GF   You're fleeing out of defeat.

GF   Cowardice is a bad look, Anglais.

GF   I would much prefer you prostrate your apology instead, like a -

AR   stop yelling, frenchman.

AR   you'll scare them off.

As you follow the sound of his voice, you hear strange noises. Is that... barking?

GF   It pains me to ask, but...

GF   You aren't chasing some wild creatures, are you?

AR   ...

When you finally catch up to him, he's crouched down near what looks to be a burrow. You lean onto a nearby tree, since you're in no rush to brawl with a badger.

GF   Look at that.

GF   Arash Lockewood, in his natural habitat.

GF   Prancing after whatever woodland critter catches his eye.

GF   Tell me, what are you trying to accomplish now?

AR   ...

AR   ...hm.

GF   That clears things up.

AR   you know, you're not obliged to stay.

You click your tongue.

GF   Ah, but then, who speak sense into your primitive brain?

GF   Especially when you fly off of trails and poke your head into random dens.

AR   i'm just making sure.

GF   What is there to make sure?

GF   Last time I checked, we are in the flourishing bosoms of Mother Nature.

GF   What is out here will take care of itself, Anglais.

AR   not when there are traps.

You blink. You wonder if he's bluffing.

GF   I saw no traps.

AR   look at your feet instead of your bottle, next time.

You scoff and peer over, getting a closer glimpse of the den. A handful of petit foxes are peeking their noses out, sniffing curiously. You instinctively recoil.

GF   Nosy creatures.

Then, you look at what your feral acquaintance is doing.

GF   Bordel de merde.

GF   You are an absolute loon, Anglais.

GF   May I remind you that they are wild, ravenous animals?

AR   they're not wild.

AR   they’re just… not domesticated.

GF   And what? You plan to tame them?

AR   ...

AR   i'm only checking in.

GF   So you've said.

Grimacing, you inch your way back over to the tree, letting it be the protective barrier between you and the inevitable frenzy. If it comes down to it, you'll use the knife.

GF   Foxes have sharp teeth.

GF   And claws.

GF   Ferocious little things.

AR   maybe they would be kinder if you shared your garden.

GF   Bah. Are you seriously suggesting I let them have a go at my produce?

AR   only if the harvest is decent.

AR   knowing you, they're probably more sour than sweet, anyway.

GF   You don't know a thing, Anglais.

AR   ...

GF   ...

GF   I'm not letting you have any of my medicine if they bite you.

He chuckles under his breath.

AR   don't need it.

AR   yours, especially.

GF   What's wrong with my supply?

AR   your damn concoctions.

AR   i don't trust you to keep water untainted, frenchman.

GF   For the record, that medicine is not what I'm referring to.

GF   I am actually a gifted healer.

GF   You would know, since you saw my performance as Champion.

AR   i saw a performance, alright.

AR   that is why i don't trust your help, ever.

GF   Je suis désolé for not healing myself with sticks and berries.

GF   Your medieval ways will get you killed one of these days.

He has the audacity to ignore you, like he does whenever you're winning the argument. His loss. He wouldn't know a good time if it hit him with the pointy end of an arrow.

AR   they won't.

GF   What?

AR   they won't bite me.

AR   they promised.

GF   Did I hear that right? They promised?

AR   they promised.

GF   Ah, so you're as mad as I thought you were.

AR   they promised.

GF   ...

GF   The foxes have promised you.

Even crouched down, he manages to visibly nod his head. You look up at the heavens.

GF   Merciful Grosa...

GF   Kill this man already. He disrespects us with his audacity.

Some soft clicking sounds, as well as some disturbingly realistic chirps. He rifles through his bag and brings out some strange-looking scraps.

AR   (here.)

AR   (chicken.)

It suddenly strikes you how ridiculous this entire situation is, and you start walking towards the den; you came out all this way to come across this folksy freak, and he won't even give you the time of day? You're not going to let him make a fool of you.

AR   if you come closer, i’m putting you down.

You're back behind the tree, which graciously took an arrow for you. And, out of your own generosity, you decide to give him a few more minutes.

Eventually, he stands back up, returning to the trail with a somber look on his face. You follow.

GF   You're awfully quiet.

GF   Didn't hear what you wanted?

GF   Those noises. As if you could communicate with them.

GF   You are a beast of nature.

AR   ...

He's tugging on his sleeve.

GF   You're being ridiculous.

You grab his arm.

AR   rotten scoundrel!

AR   don’t touch me. i'm in no mood for your perversions.

He bares his teeth like any cornered animal.

GF   Hah! Is that what you think this is?

GF   Don't flatter yourself, you dirty, uncivilized outlaw.

GF   I wouldn't sully myself with the likes of you.

GF   But you are clearly hiding something.

GF   So, out with it.

AR   i said don’t touch me!

GF   Don't be such a child!

AR   damned nosy fool...!

After some mutual struggling, you're able to pull back the sleeve. And all you can do is stare.

GF   Anglais.

GF   Are you for serious right now?

AR   ...

GF   I cannot believe this.

GF   Why do I put up with this?

GF   You cannot keep doing this to yourself. It is asinine.

AR   they're young.

AR   they don't know better.

GF   You know better.

AR   no.

AR   i do.

He wrestles his arm out of your grasp and continues down the trail. You reluctantly follow behind him, fuming.

Maybe you'll let him die of whatever disease he'll catch, rather than patching him up. That'll teach him. Then, you'll finally be rid of this nonsense, too.