SF   tha fuck?

SF   wha was i...

You think about sitting up, but whatever you're laying on is softer than sin. Instead, you take in your surroundings. Bedding much too delicate and not-ripped to be yours. Covers too thick. Soft breathing next to you that's definitely...

SF   u!!

You successfully sit up this time, ignoring the chill that overcomes you as the blanket falls.

SF   no way

SF   nerd boy? thats rly u?

He's awake. His head is resting on his arms on top of a pillow. Under those long bangs of his, his glimmery eyes take you in. Even though you've jolted rather violently away from him, he's still wearing that dumb, droopy expression.

PP   good morning... *yawn*

SF   itz not lookin gud 2 me

PP   its okay. disorientation is normal...

PP   itll get easier with practice...

That soft, patient voice. That impenetrable mental ease. It pisses you off more than anything.

SF   dont condescend shit boy

SF   obv im way more experienced than ur virgin ass

SF   im jus surprised i sunk low nuff 2 tap it

SF   i hope u savor it. itll b da best ull eva get

PP   ...

He smushes his face against the pillow.

PP   the physical contact was minimal, actually...

PP   at your request...

PP   well, initially...

SF   wat? jus a quickie then?

PP   stefani, you really dont remember...?

SF   yea u kno wat mayb im better off not knowin tha detailz

SF   guys that get no action liek u r freaky-deaky

You pause, thoughtful.

SF   shit that makez me wanna kno actually

SF   ok nerd boy. talk

SF   wat happened last nite?

He faces you once more, though his eyes are closed. Trying to form a solid thought in that brain slurry, probably.

PP   you were having unsatisfactory dreams...

PP   it was affecting your sleep...

SF   hm

SF   alrite itz comin back 2 me a lil

SF   whut elz?

PP   you had a show to attend to that day...

PP   but afterwards, you agreed to meet me here... where i live...

PP   and you did, eventually...

You're starting to taste something sour in your mouth. The ghost of a goodbye kiss from a bottle.

SF   k so i wuz shitfaced rite?

SF   im a fuckin genius so i can finger it out

PP   yes, thats right...

PP   you seemed... stressed...

SF   well no shit flopsy im a busy cunt

PP   no, it was hesitation...

PP   like you wanted to change your mind...

You scowl. That sounds enough like you, but that doesn't mean Philip has to air it out.

SF   i asked 4 wat happened not ur psycho-anal bullshit

PP   right...

PP   i thought it would be best in the living room...

PP   but you kept walking around...

PP   and you wouldnt leave the bed once you saw it...

You grip the covers. It's actually a handmade quilt, now that you look closer. Yet it feels silkier than anything you've bought. You'd steal it if it didn't smell like his flowery-ass perfume.

It doesn't help that he's wearing such a sad-sack expression. Like he doesn't have a busty bombshell in his bed.

PP   are you upset...?

SF   wat do u think sparkletits

PP   ...

SF   so we didnt do anythin

SF   i hopped in here and slept da booze off

SF   dam

SF   u couldnt even diddle me a lil?

His grimace is deep enough to make you (sort of) regret saying that.

PP   if it wasnt obvious by your haze now...

PP   you werent in a good state of mind, stefani...

PP   all i could do... is make sure you slept alright...

The faintest memory surfaces in your mind. You, sloppy and sweaty, demanding that if you're going to spend a night in his bed he should make it a good time. You laying on the covers, too weak to lift your head but strong enough to hold his sleeve in a vice grip. Him saying something that lulls you into darkness.

SF   wat was it?

Philip's hair is somehow about as long as yours, and a lot of it manages to get on his face. He brushes some of it aside before answering.

PP   they usually start out innocuous...

PP   setting a tone, an environment...

PP   i could see most of what was going on...

PP   maybe from your perspective the faces are clearer...

SF   they r

PP   it went south of course...

PP   i tried passive influence first, but you...

SF   i? i did somethin?

PP   you were fighting me...

PP   you didnt seem to think it could change...

PP   you thought something was wrong...

SF   well if some1 were brain-fisting u wuldnt u fite 2?

PP   yes, its not unusual by any means...

PP   i was only able to convince you... by stepping in...

PP   and pretending to be a character too...

You try to imagine it. Some scrawny kid draped in magnificent hair, suddenly busting in on your life. Someone sitting with you on the audition benches, helping you with homework. Someone telling her and him and all them what you really wanted.

SF   no way i gave in

It's too good to be true.

PP   well, no, not at first...

PP   you seemed to recognize me, so it took some time...

PP   to make you believe i was there to help you...

SF   gud 4 her

SF   thaz how i made it dis far twinkletoez

SF   im secure as fuck

SF   i bet u tricked me im so tuff

PP   *yawn* it was amusing, actually...

PP   once i started discussing your discography...

SF   uve gotta b shittin me

His head is still resting in his arms, but you can still see the crook of a smile hidden below.

PP   you shouldnt judge your dream self so harshly...

PP   their wants are yours, but their barriers are much different...

SF   shut up fortune cookie ass prick

SF   so u swindled unconscious bb stef in2 wat

SF   skippin thru a field flowers or somethin?

SF   diggin in sheep butthole on a cloud?

PP   *yawn* your imagination far surpasses mine, stefani...

PP   plus, i dont like directing the dream...

PP   so i went with what you wanted...

SF   which wuz?

PP   ...

SF   ...

PP   zzz

His face is completely buried in his pillow. You'd be worried about him suffocating if you gave half a shit.

SF   ok then tbc or whatev

SF   hope u choke on cotton dick

SF   or pegasus feathers or w/e dis shit is made of

PP   zzzzzz zzzzzzzzz

SF   ...

The next time you see him (backstage, of course) it's as if nothing ever happened. He rambles on about the show and gives you a present for being so hot and talented and whatever. However, this time, it's not a weird animal figurine or plush.

PP   if theres any chance this helps...

PP   its yours...

You call him out for being a freak pervert, probably thinking of his superstar crush sleeping on it naked or something. You cackle when he bashfully looks away, giving him a smack on the head for good measure.

You'll wash it later to clean the nerd out. But, for now, laying on it isn't half bad. Maybe you'll get a decent dream after all.

As long as he doesn't show up and ruin the sexy ones.